/int/ - certified time wasters

My dreams are quite easy to interpret...
Had a dream where Houellebecq was reciting a pamphlet about how bad, digusting and bleak my relationship was.

Dreamt I was discussing with my mother whether tax declaration by telex would have been technologically possible in the 50s or 60s. We then speculated how Peter von Siemens (the elder) did his taxes. I guesstimated that his tax advisor would have had to bring in meters of folders each year.

Today I dreamed of the apocalypse at school, only instead of becoming zombies people became crazy. For example, my boss was there, be asked me to cut his skull with a jigsaw and take out his brain. It all started with one school shooter and then spread around. There were also Hitler-Jugend running around with toy guns.

I tried to shazaam a song by a female angelic dream pop voice right in the middle between cool and sad. The text captured what my ex and I felt after seeing each other years later and still being in love. In hindsight it must have been a dream because I held my phone towards a drying rack from where the music ascended :DDD

I had a weird dream which I can't really remember anything about except that someone gave Earth the "deal with it" sunglasses, and everyone could see it.
Which in retrospect means we weren't on Earth all along.

I had a dream where I met my French ex again and started to yell frenetically at her for whatever reason, each time finding a new treason somewhere that was worth yelling even harder. Even though I hated her I was the one following her, I needed her love but found only madness and grief. The dream was quite long and unpleasant.

>>18106
I know that feel. These kinds of dreams make you wake up with a fucked up head and a mood that is hard to change throughout the day.

>>18107
Yes that’s it. Thank god the hormonal shitshow induced by the quarter-final vs. England kinda erased any prior state of mind I could have

I was in the garden with a friend from university and we were squatting by a plantbox and laughing like hell at it because the different plants in it all corresponded to a hanzi/kanji and if you knew this then it’d spell out some domb political slogan in Chinese.
“Oh that? That’s a pepper. That means nothing lol. But check the rest.”
I then put away some trashbags and my mother said she saw a crow and a worm fight. Didn’t know the outcome.

I had a dream about s game where half of it was a platformer like Mario and the other half was a beatemup like Yakuza but with anime girls and I sucked at this part so bad mostly because of the stamina system but it was a shockingly brutal game visually.

Had a dream that I walked in forest near dacha and accidentally roamed into territory of Ukraine. Having shown wonders of deception and cunning, I managed to evade body snatchers and cross checkpoints at Polish border and get into airport where I passed for another person who had grandma in Madrid and had a ticket to this city. After that I tried to contact Portuguese Ernst to ask if he could provide me with a place to live until I find out how to return home.

Two dreams today. One was a Family Guy cutaway gag twice, once translated into Hungarian and I was shocked that my brain could keep the tree parallel puns in Hungarian too like it was astonishing. Don’t remember what the pun was but it was shocking.
The second one was dating on Tinder. I remember I set the criteria for women to be between 18-35.

>>18261
>I remember I set the criteria for women to be between 18-35.
Things that happen when you are 34. Increase the upper boundary by one each year. Lower boundary is fixed.

Odd dream where we were on a bridge with friends. It was a protest and we came armed. One of them said that “I don’t feel like I’m doing anything” and then he just took out his gun and shot a protestor and said “Like whoops, Allah did that” and then he just kep shooting people. When he got to the end of the bridge in all the chaos they thought he was someone who helped reduce the chaos and as they piled up all the tacticool shit from the victims they categorised them based on type and the last one was just oblong black boxes with a foxtail on it and when they threw them into a pile they said “And the anarchists”, referring to that one Trump video that went “The looters, the agitators, the marxist, the anarchists” etc.
They then asked him to be on the team protecting the president during a trip on a cruise ship but he was kind of anxious about it because well, he just perpetrated a mass shooting and what if they find it out in the meantime. Then I woke up.

I had a dream that I was planning on shooting Biden with a revolver. Can’t remember the motivation.

>>18506
Having the most MKULTRA coded dream of all time 2bh.

Had that odd dream again where the plants shriveled up in the garden. Though this time they didn't completely die, the just had to be cut back. The dead branches and leaves were cut off so they can grow again.

For the first time in weeks, I woke from a dream which was not me at work. I was in the ring talking to Tiffany Stratton.

>>18717
> Car
> Wrestling
> Overtime work
> Comics
> Stocks
HELL YEAH!

>>18954
>pic
Literally me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkJaABq_mm4

Had a very deep4me dream the other night. In the dream I went back to my university for some reason and desperately tried to get a place in one of the dorms. They wouldn't let me stay. To make matters worse, my old uni roommate ignored me instead of telling me where he himself was lodged.

I've come to the conclusion that the dream was my subconscious' way of telling me to let go of the past, since attempting to relive the "good old days" would bring nothing but pain and embarrassement.

I had a dream that Javier Milei became mayor of my town and he stopped maintaining and cleaning roads and streets because "that's socialism". As a result streets were covered in a 2 meter high layer of snow and ice and became impassable for pedestrians and vehicles. After that even other libertarians started to hate him.
Luckily, I was able to fly in the dream.

>>19104
>Luckily, I was able to fly in the dream.

I can only assume that is what libertarians expect for themselves to happen once libertarianism is enacted and the streets are covered in snow.

Woke up disoriented and in a bad mood.
And it all started so delightfully weird:

In my dream I was appointed some kind of male nanny/house teacher of some rich english kid. I immediately got along with his dad and bro'd out, and the kid was, besides his posh way of speaking, also nice. I didn't take my job seriously, but the boy didn't mind much and when I offered to play with him, he was happy, so we played for a bit.
I think I also had to take him to school.
Later some unpleasant middle-aged woman came and scolded me and told what I had been doing wrong all the time. It was a bunch of stuff I couldn't have known.
I can't remember more of the first dream, but the second one was about a friend. One of my best friends, or maybe ex-best friends (he didn't invite me to his wedding and I haven't had the courage to ask him why), was telling me he was going to kill himself. So I tried to help him by opening a gas valve in his apartment and starting the oven, so when the apartment is filled with gas it will blow up.
Then as I was leaving the building I realized that this could hurt people not involved, and that I maybe should have been talking to him and trying to talk him out of suiciding, so I went to find a key (because the janitor gave me authority over the house keys or some general key or something) in a race against time to stop the apartment from getting blown up.

Then I woke up. I never learned if I managed to prevent the catastrophe, and the very nature of that dream and its premise left me distraught. Sometimes I have these kinds of dreams, like when the little brother (at that time a teenager) of a friend shot me with a pistol, for no good reason. No idea why my brain is doing this. I'd rather have more sex dreams.

I had a dream that I was in library and there was a board game dedicated to or simulating dialectical materialist logic. On the top it had a transparent box with black and white balls.

I was in Paris and there was a monument to "The skunk of Paris". It was dedicated to clochard couple who died in one day (husband - from poisoning and wife - next day from suicide) but until the end they were nice and tried to help other people despite being in trouble themselves.
Then I "woke up" and checked in Wikipedia whether such monument exists and turned out that yes, it exists.

In another dream Portuguese Ernst told that he is fictionally married to his sister, for the purpose of tax cuts.

>>19450
>In another dream Portuguese Ernst told that he is fictionally married to his sister, for the purpose of tax cuts.
I would expect this from a Sicilian, but not from a Portuguese.

Today I dreamed of a factory producing Tatars. There is a house with a circular layout of rooms, at first they do something to you, then in the next rooms you communicate with other Tatars and in the last room you are already a Tatar and can eat chak-chak, which is lying there

>>19662
Reminds me that I should continue my Cossacks campaign.

>>19451
>>19450
I'd be more comfortable being married to a man. I think they get tax breaks too. Maybe that's the way word, becoming a big gay man.

Ernst dreamt he was an astronaut. The dream wasn't really much about space itself, but more about being an important guy during mission development on the ground, hanging in the office, talking to people and stuff. It seemed like Ernst enjoyed the attention he was getting everywhere, and jokingly acted like a diva all the time. Also the grills enjoyed hanging with an astronaut. The only thing Ernst can remember that was actually space related was a landing with a capsule, and even that was more about the swag of landing directly at a fancy beach, and the party that followed.

Had the strangest insanely elaborate dream about trying to go on a trip and meet up with a buddy of mine. There was a whole sub-dream where I was stuck trying to explain to a Polish lady running a b&b that I booked a room, but in the end I realized i made a mistake while booking so I decided to drive to another place.
Then I almost had a car accident because I saw a beautiful woman but she started running so fast so I chased her with my car. It looked like a scene out of some horror movie, like she started shape shifting into some beast under my headlights. Then I woke up with polish peasants screaming at me because I run one of them over but it turned out I hadn't, he had already drunk himself to death.
Then I was on a day trip to a midsized German city which seemed like a mix of Hamburg and a some different city. Was there with my mom and brother and we did a bunch of different activities. In the end I jumped off a bridge and flew over the river, it was beautiful azure blue like the ocean and then I met my buddy who was swimming in there already.
It kept on going with another whole episode where I was working in some sort of computer room analyzing pictures but I don't really recall how it continued. Pretty sure it's been the first dream I remembered anything about in months.

I had a dream the hard drive on my desktop was failing. It made a grinding noise as it spun. I looked around the house for an external drive to transfer data before it died but couldn't find one.

I had a dream that I was going to university and work but there was a flood so the trams were going very slow through the shallow water. I lamented how with the previous flood-wave having passed, nobody was constructing defenses this time, letting the water run amok in the city.
In the metro tunnels a kid got sucked up by a fan. He had a leg torn off. Everything was brown.
Work was right across university. I Wanted to go to university but the torrents of water flowing between the two place meant that I could only go to work, where they were rearranging stuff. I then looked out the window and saw one of my professors sitting on a foldable chair right besides the water. I went out and asked him what he was doing and he was waiting for the water to pass. I then noticed that the water was shallow now and not as fierce, so I could cross into university.

I was in China with Hungarian Ernst, in some big apartment. There was a movement called Xi-Anon, it's like Q-anon, but they search for hidden messages in Xi Jinping's books.

>>20055
这个梦被真的中国爱国者查事实了。
结论: 是真的。

In today's dream goblins evolved to have balls on their neck, so they reproduced with cunnilingus.

Nightmare in which I moved back into the student dorm where I lived in 2008-2011. IRL, it was 4 bedrooms with a shared kitchen/bathroom in a 13-story early 1990s building. But in my dream, the layout very much resembled my current flat, while the location, view, flooring, etc. was like it had actually been.

I dreamt I shared it with an anorexic girl I knew from highschool. Her contract had long been cancelled by the student Union, but we just picked the lock to her room and she simply stayed.

I tried to clean the place because it was a total dump, and she wasn't much help, because aber was starving and depressed.

In reality, I never roomed with her, and by the late 00s, she had gotten her act so 'together', only a fool would actually believe it.

When I got close to waking up, I was convinced it was actually 2017 and tried to do the math of why I hadn't been in my room for 6 years, if anyone had lived there in between, or if it had just been empty for 6 years, and where I had lived during those 6 years.

Nightmare in which I went to a wedding reception. For dream reasons, I booked a room in the hotel where the wedding was supposed to be held. At the reception, they told me to go and sit a table in chair number 31. I did it, and was soo surrounded by black Rastafarian men. The news of the day was that Muslim homosexual fundamentalists had burned church goers alive inside their church. We found out that it had actually been the Westnoro Baptist Church, by comparing photos on Facebook, which was amusing. The table then shrank, and I had to get up. Accidentally, I ran into the actual wedding guests, who were just getting up to leave. We then walked somewhere, I have no idea where or why. Some guy complimented me on my shirt. It was declared we had to drive somewhere, for reasons. I discussed ride-sharing with a couple, when I noticed that I had put on my shirt inside out. The woman offered to ride along in my car, so I could put on the shirt the right way, which seemed sensible enough at the time. But I had completely forgotten where my car was. We figured out that it had to be in a parking lot close to a cigarette vending machine. But I just could not remember. And this is how I lost my car.

Only snippet of my last dream I can remember is that we went into a church with my family and I had an open can of sandwich spread in my hand and I was anxious where to put it but I opted to put it on the footrest. I just hoped I don’t leave it there on accident.

Dreamed I was bringing stray cats into my house, and they were harassing the cat I actually have. And each new stray was bigger than the last.

I dreamed of a Top Gear episode where they went to Germany and found a machine making Weisswurst the funniest thing ever.
I woke up laughing.

Several times the last weeks I dreamed that I was part of sports teams, entering a contest in which our team was expected to win. But I secretly knew that, despite having the reputation of being a star player, I didn't have the ability (any longer?) to compete, being slow and clumsy. The games never happened, but I remember the impression of warming up, and already being outpaced by everyone else, and the realization that humiliation would be inevitable.

>>20305
>and found a machine making Weisswurst
This can be read both ways: A machine that is making Weisswurst, or a Weisswurst that is making machines. For the sake of surrealism, I vote for the latter.

Had this odd dream that this old lady my mother used to care for was still alive and having a heart attack. Of course I diagnosed it and then I had to call the ambulance. Which didn’t come. It was odd. Instead I saw 6 American-style cop cars race down the street before I called again and the ambulance turned up, only to find the old lady being fine.

There was also something about public transportation and bridges in the previous segment but I really can’t remember it.

Woke up from a nightmare where me and some friends wanted to prank some fishermen by putting sushi on their lines but they didn't think it was funny and just started catching my friends and methodically and unperturbedly carving them up with their knives.
Second dream was about that girl I haven't seen in over a year where I kissed her and said I'm sorry (for what?).
What watching a horror film with a romance subplot when you're feverish does to a mf. Not sure which dream was worse.

Dreamed that we just got home with my mother and sister and we got the US election results by looking at the water level in the pool. The water was overflowing. We turned off the garden hose and I said that this means a Trump victory. We checked the water level with my sister, measuring it and we declared that “This was basically rape, he fucking raped her he won so fucking hard dude.”

Had a very weird dream, and very disturbing.
First I was in Spain or somesuch where I wanted to sleep at an inn. I had to climb through a window.
Then it was dinner with parents, but for some reason the food took very long for some while others were already finished.
Then I went to my room and unpacked a gift. It was a blanket with a happy birthday greeting and an explanation about the gift, which was special badges that I needed in spanish winter as a foreigner, and it was in english.
Then I went to attach the badges to my car. It was very snowy, the road was covered. A long WW1-style bayonet was just put into the ground, so I pulled it out and put it under my car to retrieve it later. I also had to change tires or something, though it was only the rubber part and I managed to get them all in the trunk WITH ROOM TO SPARE. Then I laid down next to the car, in the snow, to sleep, but was disturbed by a man taking pictures of me with his phone.
Next I remember I was kidnapped, or got there on my own, in some kind of castle/dungeon. I was part of a group that was apparently torturing and was tortured (the woman giving the introductory speech was saying something like "let's all have fun now") with all kinds of nasty stuff. I remember a woman being suspended over a hot cauldron and her skin "melting" so her upper body was kind of fused together.
I can't remember more because I think that was the moment my alarm went off. I hate these kind of dreams, I want to dream about flying and travelling through space, not this shit.

Getting cockblocked even in my dreams, Ernst-Style:

I was at some event that took place in something like a congress center or airport or mall - multiple levels with escalators, that were connected to something like resort rooms, you know, bungalows with nice gardens.
I was there with colleagues, but not current ones, but former ones, one of which is a rather attractive, tall blonde. She was wearing a sundress, one of my biggest weaknesses.
Anyway, we were strolling around this event and she and I were very close together; the sexual tension was palpable. At one point we stood there and were talking and I was inconspicuously grabbing her ass. She suggested we go somewhere else, so we went. She ran away, in flipflops and I could barely keep track because mine were rather slippery, so I was running like Jackie Chan.
We then arrived at the rooms, but at the roof, so we had to climb down a bunch of rocks on the side of the complex.
Inside her room I was starting to take off my sweaty clothes. I went over to her to kiss her when her friends, or at least a group of women that appeared like such, burst in and wanted to talk, but they seem to have noticed that something was going on. I excused myself to the bathroom while she was trying to get rid of them.
To my surprise the bathroom and kitchen were one single room. The shower (a big one) was on the right side of the door, while a bigger part of the room opened to the left with a dinner table and an entire cooking/dishwashing alcove with about a meter away a toilet. I sat on the toilet because I am a polite guest when a boy came in whom I identified as her little brother. He started talking to me, saying something about eating, and then another guy came in.
And before I could solve this and fugg I woke up.

Nightmare.
My cousin and I were on some university campus, close to where the university related start-ups had their offices. He had some convoluted plan on how to prank a priest, and he would need an Ukrainian phone number for it, he wanted me to set up a voip-system with an Ukrainian phone number to route calls through it. Somehow, this was also a business idea. I didn't quite get it, he calmly explained to me that, in 2002, he had paid a guy outside a soccer game 1500€ for something related to someone's browsing history, as if that would explain anything.

I was then trying to eat in the university cafeteria.
First, I waited to get some cutlery, but everything they brought out was dirty. The cafeteria was buffet-style, and they printed a label with some numbers and matrix code for every item of food that went onto your tablet. Tried to do it right, but there were no soup cups. I had already been waiting for a spoon that was not green with spinach from someones mouth for half an hour, so I put a small amount of soup on a plate, received the label, stuck it on the edge of the plate. Some soup got on the label.

I was already walking to a table and wanted to sit down and eat, then I remembered I would have to pay. Found the checkout in some niche, stood in line for a few minutes. A middle-aged blonde Austrian woman with a giant curly perm and red lipstick straight from hell was sitting at the checkout counter. When it was my turn, she told me. 'Dös kauni enk nöd berechnen, bringens zum auszolln'. Me 'what. ' 'dös kauni enk nöd berechnen, do is suppen auf dem preispapperl, außerdem is dös a dellar. Bringens zum auszolln.' I asked her where I should bring it and she told me 'ZUR AUSZOLL-LINIE'. I asked her what would be payed out (ausbezahlt), she told me 'ausZOLLN, nöd ausZOIN' (to toll-out, not to pay out. The word 'auszollen' does not even exist, afaik). She angrily pointed to a conveyer belt. I put my tablet there and watched it disappear. I woke up while yelling 'tariffs, goddammit, we are at a cafeteria, not at a customs office'. (I actually yelled 'auszolla, herrgotsack, mir sand enra mensa, ed aufam zollamt.')

still confused on why the impolite Austrian woman would ihrz me. Maybe she mistook me for some professor, because of my advanced age.