No.20553 [View All]
Old one rotted away
>>821Threda for discussing or just sharing your impressions of movies, TV shows, cartoons and the like.
No.24719 KONTRA
>>24717>If you take a substance to explain the happenings, you should also explain the substance, that is actually the biggest story flaw i had.Not everything needs to be explained in detail.
Alien gained nothing from explaining the origin of the Aliens (although that wasn't canon anyway, *cough*), neither did Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Death Becomes Her would also have gained nothing had they explored the background of the substance.
Also, is it not about how women have to always be pretty to get work IN THE BIZ and have to do all that horrible bogging so le ebul misogynistic producers will even be aware of them? That's at least what I could gather from the trailer.
No.24720
>>24719>Alien gained nothing from explaining the origin of the Aliens (although that wasn't canon anyway, *cough*), neither did Texas Chainsaw MassacreIn those movies, you knew everything the main characters knew or even more and that is fine.
In The Substance i had the impression that everyone should be very well aware of everything but i, as the viewer, am not. And i could not find a good reason for that.
This is not like Alien or TCM, this is like Re-Animator.
If Herbert West would not explain his work in Re-Animator, i would be pissed.
No.24721
>>24720>If Herbert West would not explain his work in Re-Animator, i would be pissed.iirc it was never explained. It was just some magical potion that brings the dead back to life.
No.24723
>>24721Herbert West explains death as a biological condition or a sicknes that can be reversed or healed if the brain tissue is still intact and it can "defeat brain death" if administered quickly enough after death.
His invention works by reversing death.
Those are very basic explanations that don't go in depth but they are there. They help to understand the universe the film is based in.
None of those things are explained in The Substance.
I know that, if you take it, a different person which is also supposed to be you will come out of you.
Why? I don't know.
Who made it? I don't know.
Who sells it or is it just given away for free? I don't know.
If you don't care about that kind of thing that's fine, personally i can't think of anything else for the full duration of the movie, so i guess it would be good to know. For me.
If you ever happen to watch that movie, please let me know. I would be interested if you keep that opinion or if you think that a bit of sidestory or just a 2 minute dialogue about the serum would've been a good thing.
No.24734
Flight home, so the rare opportunity to watch movies.
Mickey 17:
I really learned to love Pattinsons acting. Twilight aside, he's actually a great guy and conquered the spot to be the perfect Batman for me.
Still, the movie jumps themes a little too much and feels inconsistent, especially towards the end.
Not great, not terrible, maybe a little expendable.
LOTR: Return of the King:
Well, it's a perfect movie alright, nothing more to add really.
Cells at Work:
A live action adaptation of the manga of the same name.
Starts cheery and visually nicely bizarre, like an episode of Power Rangers.
Does get a bit grim from the mid onward, but actually I loved that movie very much for some reason.
When I have to withhold ass-on-toilet action, I will now probably forever have to imagine muscular Asian dudes cosplaying as my sphincter muscle while screaming to hold the line. And my liver brothel taking care of poor drunken cells...
No.24914
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdC5mFHPldgNew Mortal Kombat 2 trailer just dropped.
Karl Urban as Johnny Cage sold me in an instant, wish it would come to cinemas around xmas tho.
C..can we get Dredd 2 next pleeeease?
First one is peak whimsical 90s guilty pleasure, together with the likes of D&D and such.
No.24950 KONTRA
>>24914>Melde dich an um dein Alter zu bestätigenFUCK YOU YOUTUBE NO WONDER YOU ARE DYING GOOD RIDDANCE YOU FUCKING SUBHUMANS
No.24960 KONTRA
>>24959>implying I am going to log in to my own account just to watch some trailer that might or might not be shitYou dumb fucking retard, do you enjoy being a glass citizen?
Imagine being so unfathomably retarded that you can't fathom someone not WANTING to be logged in and subscribed everywhere. I wish I could spit in your face, you absolute imbecile, you debil blyat, you 89IQ subhuman.
No.24961
Star Wars Episode 1
Had a bit of a hankering for some light entertainment. Since everybody knows the film I won't go into detail, just rate the different setpieces
>GOAT tier
Pod Race, loved it 25 years ago, love it now
>Excellent tier
Jedi vs. Sith, mainly carried by the soundtrack, although the stunt work and choreography is excellent too
>ok tier
Assault on droid control ships, just space pew pew
>silly tier
Every scene where the Naboo fight
>very silly, also shit tier
Every scene with Gungans, like holy shit everything about it is so incredibly bad, especially the Braveheart "battle" against the droids. Everything about it is just so incredibly bad. So, so incredibly bad
No.25042 KONTRA
Resident Alien is a weird show.
Sure, the premise can be fun and what can be done with it and exploring the human condition was shown by e.g. 3rd Rock From The Sun. Also, I just like Alan Tudyk.
Of course since this is the 2020s you can't just have comedy, you have to have a procedural (though that is more due to the alien, who is referring to himself as an alien, being involved with a bunch of those murders), men in black + conspiracies and lots and lots of unrelated (relationship) drama, plus an often very annoying soundtrack.
It has moment that had me laugh out loud and then it has current year writing that makes anyone who isn't terminally online or hollywoodian cringe physically. There was an entire episode about a "girls' night out" smashing the patriarchy, as personified by one of them's husband who is pretty much a modern beta boy, but also the town's mayor, who apparently pays the women less. Also, the women constantly talk about sex in a fashion how a woman would imagine guys talk about sex. Oh, and it has a muslim family, with the little muslim girl wearing a headscarf. She is also one of the smartest people in town and very precocious.
Speaking of the women, the casting is also really weird: Most of them are average at best looking, but they ALL have really fat tits, it's actually pretty amazing. Like someone corralled all those butterfaces and put them on a show.
Also, for a show supposedly set in a South Park Colorado, I can't help but think of Alaska the entire time. Doesn't help it was filmed in British Columbia.
Those kinds of shows are just not for me. I never really managed to get into Monk despite laughing a bunch of times, and I never managed to get into similar shows, like iZombie.
No.25155
Innocence (2004) is online on arte.tv
It's the creepiest movie I ever saw, no competition.
The movie is heavily stylized. Color filters. Lots of color filters.
Lots of 6-12 year old girls it short white skirts, or in tight white leotards, or in wet white underwear, or wearing nothing.
Miserable attempt of a plot summary: a boarding school for girls in a walled park. Two beautiful young teachers give lessons, old female servants cook and clean in almost absolute silence. The girls seem to learn ballet and not much else. They mostly live unsupervised. The older girls take care of the younger girls and educate them. New girls aged about give arrive in coffins. Girls wear hair-ribbons which are color-coded by age.
A new girl arrives. She makes a friend, the friend tries to flee and dies. Middle girl tries to impress head mistress, to be chosen chosen for what? I have no idea. Maybe I missed something, but chances are we just aren't told fails, tries to flee. We see her scaling a wall, we see her running away.
We hear dogs and what I assume to be shots. The other girls are told 'she made a mistake and she will not be talked about again.' Oldest girls stage a production in front of an unseen audience. Some man from the audience throws a rose on stage. He yells 'you are the prettiest'. After the audience leaves, the girl who received the rose finds a glove between the seats and sees a servant counting money. Servant tells girl that this is how the school makes money. Girl strokes the inner sides of her thighs with the glove she found. The teachers take the oldest girls on a train and bring them to a fountain where they splash around with teenage boys.
Metaphors: oh so many. Butterfly and metamorphosis are central.
Surrealism: 8/Bunuel.
Thinking about washing my eyes with soap.
No.25160
>>25155This movie is unacceptable. It's a movie for pedophiles. Just underaged girls with nudity. I had to turn it off after the shocking scene where a 12 years old is fully naked, i was not prepared for that. This movie should warn the viewers. I don't understand why the parents of these young actresses gave consent for their child to do that. It's disgusting and unacceptable. Cinema has taken a non return turn and will never be the same. I am so disgusted, don't waste your time with this movie, only child predators will enjoy it.
No.25164
>>20553>2025>liking SeinfeldIt's one of the best Sitcoms to this day.
I watched The Hills Have Eyes from 1977 and 2006. I liked the original more but the remake wasn't as bad as i expected it to be, especially in comparison to most of the mid 00s horror crap. The mid 00s really sucked.
I'm going to watch the sequels of the original and the remake next.
Then i watched The Last House on the Left from 2009. I wasn't impressed. The Breaking Bad guy was in it and i don't mean the good one.
I also watched Midnight Meat Train and i don't even know why. It didn't really interest me all that much and it was an absolute waste of time.
I don't really know if it wants to be a dumb splatter/gore flick or a serious movie but it somehow manages to be neither.
No.25165
Watched me some David Lynch
Lost Highway:
I don't get it. I looked it up and came to the conglusion that no one does and everyone seems fine with it. I am not.
Didn't like it.
Wild at Heart:
Great, liked it a lot. Would watch again.
I'm usually not much of a Nicolas Cage fan but he's great here.
Jurrassic Park lady is great as well. And sometimes nude, that is good.
The cast is overall pretty great, Willem Dafoe and Harry Dean Stanton are probably my two favorites over all.
Would recommend/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQIdBfrF0Ik No.25166
Why are Europoor movies always so boring and pretentious? Nothing ever happens, no stars, no plot, and who wants to read subtitles? Some pseudo-smart-wannabe-schmucks who think it will impress chicks. LOL it won't, you will die virgins fucking incels.
No.25171
>>25164i liked the meloncholy city atmosphere in the midnight meat train
No.25196
>>25165I absolutley love Lost Highway
No.25197
>Urban Legend
One of those late 90s teenie slashers in the wake of Scream and I know what you did last summer etc. First rewatch after over 20 years, I could barely remember anything.
This one is about college kids getting killed after motives of urban legends.
It's a fun flick and good for a nostalgia watch. Robert Englund plays a professor who is, obviously, one of the suspects.
The resolution is silly in a good fashion because it fits the underlying tongue-in-cheek tone of the film.
The highlight though is the cast of absolute babes they had. The redhead main girl, her curly hair big-eyed friend, the goth roommate, American Pie era pudgy-faced Tara Reid in one of those summer dresses that have the boobs almost hanging out completely, oh an if you're gay you also have Jared Leto.
I can certainly recommend it for a fun evening of turning off your brain.
Fun fact: The german title is "Düstere Legenden", and I think I have never heard that term outside of this context, because "urban legends" are also called that in german, though I don't know what came first.
No.25255
>>25254Isn't it too... German?
I never could stand Shoe of Manitu for example, other watched it 5 times in cinema back then.
No.25257
>>25255It's less "too german" than "too boomer".
Really, if you were born between 1950 and 1970 or are an actual Edgar Wallace film fan you will certainly get more from this than other people.
That said, if you think the Heute Show is hilarious, you will also have a great time here.
No.25258
>>25255Funny you mention that because I also watched Schuh des Manitu a day before Der Wixxer. (I was taken hostage by a German paramilitary unit.)
I think Manitu is much more "German". I laughed a good few times but it definitely felt like I was missing out on stuff due to how heavily it relied on Bavarian + the fact that I've never seen a Karl May movie adaptation/I'm not into Indian stuff. But I did get a few laughs out of it.
I don't think Wixxer was really "German" save for the jokes poking fun at East Germans being lowbrow nitwits. It's kinda like an European Naked Gun but a bit less absurd.
Me reading a lot of detective stuff over the past few years probably added a lot to my enjoyment of it.
I guess it's also related to how I just have insanely low expectations for comedy films, considering every single comedy film I've ever seen was lowbrow American toilet humor shit from the 2000s. So the relatively coherent plot and the jokes not being disgusting mostly was a pleasant surprise.
No.25260
>>25258Huh, really, then I might give it a watch should I stumble upon it on Prime again, you poor Gefangener der BRD GmbH.
>>25257Well, I always liked the Wochenshow with Lück and such more then Bully Herbigs show, although the show was much better then his movies.
And Pastewkas role as Brisko Schneider was Lil' Ernsts favorite part.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcyuFL-j2Cc>Erecksion SM-69Heh, still gets a laugh out of me.
No.25261
>>25259I had to look it up if it's the one with Seth Green and the python or the one with a young Heath Ledger and it turns out it was neither, but that one is also pretty good.
I miss those teen movies that American Pie kicked off.
No.25271
It's kind of interesting that in the last 15 years - with the exception of Barbie - nobody seems to have come up with a formula for a type of comedy film which struck a nerve with audiences. Currently humor seems to be mainly linked with absurdist tiktoks.
No.25273
>>25271I concur, with the part of the formula and the Barbie one as well.
Formulaic there was the massive chain of animation movies, which led so far that younger generations in their need to express themselves with the world via video to use the same obnoxious facial features to convey emotions as all those movies like the one with that ice princess or Shrek or whatever.
And for now, Barbie is just a one trick pony, while the wave of milking older generations for nostalgia is still in full swing.
I myself massively enjoy the live action Sonic movies.
Maybe one could also argue, that with how movies are crafted via peer group studies and marketing research these days, blockbusters can't focus on one genre completely as to not exclude potential other paying customers.
No.25276 KONTRA
>>25271>implying Barbie and the whole Barbenheimer thing wasn't the most astroturfed campaign ever since trying to gaslight people into thinking the Sequel Trilogy was goodSure, if you were born yesterday and this was your very first totally organic hype, you might think that.
No.25284 KONTRA
I think the Oppenheimer hype was kinda valid in the sense that it was finally not a fucking capeshit movie in a cinematic universe after over a decade of absolute domination from Marvelslop.
No.25289
>>25258>every single comedy film I've ever seen was lowbrow American toilet humor shit from the 2000sThere's always Mel Brooks.
Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein are some of the best comedy movies i've seen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnWDTyIQd9o No.25290
>>25289Are you insinuating that Mel Brooks is NOT low-brow toilet (or rather, genital) humor?
No.25291
>>25290Only partly. Definitely not 2000s
No.25292
>>25291>Definitely not 2000sMel Brooks is the FATHER of 00s toilet humor. Well, him and the SNL films.
No.25305
>>25292>Mel Brooks is the FATHER of 00s toilet humorHe is, but the child lost the subversion of its predecessors and that's the destinction here.
No.25308 KONTRA
>>25305But nobody "lost" anything. You can't subvert anything that can't be subverted anymore. Or in other words: The humor is the same, but society changed - in part due to the former having an influence on that change. No idea what the proper english term is, in german I would probably say something like "salonfähig machen".
No.25309
Bully Herbig is not funny. Schuh des Manitu was not funny when it came out. I saw it in 2002, I only fake-laughed in places, out of politeness.
Mel Brooks is not funny, either. Haha, guy with a big helmet haha lol half man half dog olololo what a clever and witty satire on a dimwitted infantile samurai-cowboy-space-saga from a decade earlier, now I can feel smart because I laughed when they made fun of dumb movie! Schuh des Manitu works the same, by the way. Poke fun at few German movies from the 1960s, from a 2000s point of view, make the viewer feel superior because they laughed at your cheap shots at crappy movies that are easy targets.
No.25311 KONTRA
>>25309Both assessments are very wrong. Please stay in your containment thread, loser.
No.25313 KONTRA
>>25308>>25308by the way, salon translates to parlor, salonfähig in this context could be translated with socially acceptable, and you are a clinically retarded. Maybe work on making the bomber air fighters salonfähig?
What a dimwitted ignoramus you are on top of being an insufferable little cunt.
No.25314
>>25308>The humor is the same, but society changed - in part due to the former having an influence on that change.In other words: the final movies are not the same at all, the 00s lack the novelty of what Mel Brooks and others introduced.
No.25315 KONTRA
>>25314Now what is it? Novelty or subtlety? Both are different argumentative directions you come from. Novelty does not need to be good, a formula can also be perfected.
Methinks you just want to be right.
No.25316
>>25315>Novelty or subtlety?You mean subversiveness. In this case both fall into one, since the 00s movies neither perfect the formula nor add a new twist to it, they are just a less subversive repetition. Maybe like a River Cola is to a Coca Cola. You are right tho, I should have clarified more on this.
No.25318 KONTRA
>>25316I could have sworn you wrote "subtle" somewhere. I'm sorry. That makes my other post a bit awkward.